Love.... a self suicide

Thursday, April 19, 2007

What Hurts The Most ...

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Well ... guess tis will be my another emo post..... again ......
Realised that im up a point whereby i don know who to trust anymore ....
The fear of getting dissapointed all over again did made me being really bitter now ..
Felt that at times ... i do hurt people around me tho i didnt mean to....
But im just afraid of getting hurt nor getting frustrated .... its getting all over me
At times .... i do really wana shut myself off from the world .....

Getting dissapointed by people around me .....one by one ... who is next?
To me ... the very basic in life is honesty .... if u blew it off ... i will never wana trust u again .... its hard to even regain ur trust back towards tat people who dissapoints u...

Often ... all i can say is that life is a bitch .... to add on that ... love is pain as well ...
All people ...every human mankind in tis world is selfish ....
I do admit that i am as well .... but some really went over the limits ....
Why shall i witness myself loosing my own dignity right in front of me?
I dont see a point there ... and all i can say is ... fuck it .....

Im cold .. im bitter ... and im evil .....
But all i wanted is to protect myself from getting hurt again .....

Till today ... i still misses him a lot ...

Especially after bumming into his elder bro yesterday .... really really hate myself at times.....

Its about more than a month since i last heard from him....wondering how is he doing now?

Alright ... enough of ranting .....
Since im still alive and still in one piece ... just wana update my blog a lil ....

Was out wit my fwens these few days .....went over to Sg Wang wit Steph ... tho it was a last min planning .... we did had fun there .....
From getting hair extension to running around the mall .... lol ...guess i still have tat sakainess in myself ....

Went over to MV today wit Prema and Steph ...... another great time i had wit them ....
Really really had a great time laughing my ass off standing beside the pool table .... u both really did made my day ... lol

Got my hair coloured btw ..... pics of me and steph after getting our hair extensions done

Life is short ... just doin wat i like to do ....

Sigh .... really really sad now ..... guess all human on earth are evil .... especially ... =X

12:23 AM

NAbout Me

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

20 this year and gonna live life to the fullest

currently doing Graphic Design at IACT ... love it!

LovesY
Tattoo and Piercings
Modifying Accessories and my stuffs ..love doin it my way
Marlboro and Dunhil , Boozes , MAC
Gothic , History , Superbikes
My beloved family and my great bum buddies

HatesN
People with no self respect
Heartless mother fuckers ... go eat shit you fucker
People wit ego problem
Those who cant even b honest ...
Hypocrites...buy ur own words man!
People who loves to judge others ..u think that u r perfect?

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NDo u know me well enough?