Love.... a self suicide

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Happy Birthday Lina!

Its Lina's bday today ..... someone is 29 ! wohooo!! lol ..... went n gave her a surprise at Borneo Ink earlier wit a cute lil tiramisu cake ....hehe the look at her face just made my day ......

Still remembered the first day i got tattooed by her .... haha and she hav been tattooing me since that day tho my first tattoo from Borneo Ink was by her bro , Simon .

I dont only get tattoos from her ... but also she did gave me many good advise that i will always cherish and remembered till i take my last breath in this fucked up world ....

The best advise was ' u think u can change a bastard? a bastard will always be a bastard ' ...... lol i get that ..... and its time for me to wake up coz i will never b able to change someone .... she always made my day eventually tho most of the time b4 stepping into the shop ... my life is just miserable and fucked up like a bitch ....

I talked to her basically abt everything ..... especially about him .... lol and i ended up laughing my ass off instead of crying like a baby ....

Well .... happy birthday k woman! .. and sorry that i cant make it to ur bday party tonight .... =(

Will be seeing u this Friday ! wohooooo !! inkedy inky ink ..... hope u hav fun tonight ...... love u woman!

Love ,

June , ur stalker .... LMFAO

7:54 PM

Miracle?

Realised that life isnt tat bad afterall ... many people around me do care abt me a lot ... especially to Prema , Steph , Sze Mun , Edison , Jack , Abang and many more .... thanks a lot k ... really really appreciate it .... =)

Found a great miracle about 2 days ago! ..

Remember my tattoo ? just realised that its a love ... =_=" ... after more than 2 months having tis tattoo on my skin ... just found out tat its a combination of 4 flowers and the vines became a heart shape in the middle ... call me blind or wat so ever ... coz im really numb these few days or months i should say ....lol .... the more i look at it the more i love it now .... tot it was just some kayan iban tribe tattoo ... ended up wit a better meaning behind it ....

Guess life isnt tat bad after all ... thanks Lina .... u bring miracle to me ... and Happy Birthday ! will see u again pretty soon *bluek* lol ... love u woman!

One more session to go ... then my tattoo will b complete .... wohooooo

Actually planned my next tattoo already ... a back piece somewhere near my back shoulder blade there ... call me nuts la .. i don care ... tis time will b a maori tattoo ... hohohoohohoho ... cant wait to get inkedy inked again!

2:31 AM

Monday, February 26, 2007

I'm so sick of speaking words that no one understands
Is it clear enough that I can't live my whole life all alone
I can hear you in a whisper
But you can't even hear me screaming

Purpose in life I see now ? nothing but just black and white

The pain in life , just cant be understood
The one hurting you the most? is the one you love the most

What do others see in you ? hopeless and full wit stupidity

When u hate something, sometime, u can just kick it off the frontfloor.
Mine? Something, inside.
I'll never ever follow.
So give me.. something.. that is for real
So that I regain hope in life again .

6:45 PM

Why?

Why? Izit wrong after all these things i've done? ... gosh ... life is really a bitch .... till today .... nothing seems to be appreciated ..... im fucking tired ok .....

They will always be the one getting u into miserable somehow .....

Why cant u just be nice a lil ? .....

Lost track in everything ... realised that my memory is getting worse and worse now ... i just forget things in just after 5 minutes .... coz im really really numb and emotionless now .... but became more and more sensetive with things around me

Sigh .... im fucking tired like a bitch now .....

3:57 PM

Sunday, February 25, 2007

First Visiting This Year ...

Went over to Gine's place today for CNY wit Sze Mun , Chun Boon and Keeran .... somehow ... it was ok la ... but felt a lil akward somehow .... met his parents n his grandma .. all damn friendly especially his mum .... then his siblings as well ....

His dog is damn cute! .. his name is Armani ..... attitute just like ma fatty .... somehow ..... Armani did reminds me of Kimi ....

Gambled today .... i hardly gamble tho ....lol played black jack ... and i won one buck .... swt .... lol but the saddest is Gine .. don know how much he lost today ... lol ....

Went for a tour at his place ..... his house is nice! ... the nicest is Eanzhe's room .... damn pinkish and purpleish .....

Well ... guess its all good for today i think ..... i don know la ... n thanks for having me there dear! ....

8:26 PM

2:00 AM

Saturday, February 24, 2007

What can i do now? or what should i do ? .... always wanted to leave tis place .... but i don have any capability to do that somehow ...

6:22 PM

Getting Inked (Part2) ...

Went over to BB area earlier wit Prema ... met up wit Sze Mun and Sam then off we went for lunch ....yada yada then went off and picked Steph up from her place .... where did we went? Borneo Ink of coz ! hohohohohoohohoh....

Lina was busy tattooing Wen Di that time ... so sat there wit Simon , Vanessa and few other people including Lina's bf .... yada yada there... and Simon hav tis great idea for those people who cant decide wat tattoo to get ... his answer is get a bloody Ultraman ...swt.... coz he tattooed Superman b4 and even Transformer .... lol so he wanna tattoo Ultraman on anyone anytime .... lol

He told me tat Lina tattooed the Powerpuff girls on a guy's leg b4 ..... swt ... then wat should i get? doraemon? hamtaro? lol

Somehow ... realised that many people came in to Borneo Ink especially today ... and they r somehow rather linked to u at some way .... fwens fwen came in .. fwens ex came in .... fwen's bro's fwen came in .... lol .... wat a great reunion man!

Lina started tattooing me at 5 something till 7 something ... and of coz ... 3 breaks in between ... lol ..... i damn love her man! yada yada the whole time wit her ... n she is damn cute n funny!

Some bitch came in .... don wana mention her name ... degrade ma blog later ... she is fucking bitchy man! even Lina n all don like her ... fucking asshole .... went n commented my ankle tattoo is small n all .. ah fuck u la ! look at urs b4 talking cock there! ... watever la u bitch ...

Didnt bleed tat much tis time ... hehe ... and im loving ma tattoo !

Then went over to Marche wit Steph n Prema for dinner .... eat n eat till damn fucking full man ... lol but we did had a great time bumping around today ....

Dropped Prema off at Hartamas then went over to Bangsar to meet up wit my 2 babis .... lol ..... went over to Dhaven and chilled there will 11 .... then off to Alexis at Jalan Ampang wit them n met up wit Bing Loon .... yada yada till 12 then went over to Hapen to pick dad up ... while waiting ... saw all 4 of my uncle walking out from the pub ... thank god i didnt join dad to Hapen today mann .... if not sure kena tiaooo one by one for sure .... watever la ....

Reached home around 12.30 ... *yawns* ... lol k la ... guess tats all for now ... havta wake up early tomolo .... cheers people! and ma next tattoo session is tis coming Sunday ... hopefully i can get enough money to get it done and complete ... hoho

2:21 AM

Monday, February 19, 2007

Its All Good ..... =)

Apart from getting comments from people saying that im fat .... its all good for today ....

Somehow .... im soo relief and glad .... its a awakening point for me .... things cant b bad all the time ..... and like what Sze Mun told me ... always believe in ur 6th sense .... follow ur heart ..... things wont b better if u just sit there and do nothing ..... guess i will never b regret for what i've done just now ...

For months living in dilemma ..... well ... like what they said ... never try never know ... if u dont .... don blame anyone for not doing it but urself ...

Im not putting any hopes in it .... but at least i know .. its all good for now .... =)

1:06 AM

Saturday, February 17, 2007

The Reason Why I Dislike CNY ...

- CNY means gaining weight ... coz u do nothing but just to stone all the time and indulge urself wit those high calories snacks ....
- shop for no reason ... its like being force to spend money tho u know u don need anything ....
- wat nonsense is that when u cant wash ur hair on the first day of CNY? WTF ...... i dowana go to a place whereby no one washes their hair on that day and seeing dandruff all over ....
- a week b4 the celebration .... every damn place is fucking packed wit hell lots of people .... tho ma intention being in the mall is not for CNY ... but still i havta stuck at the car park for at least 1 hours just to get a damn parking ....
- every single damn place will b close for at least 3 days on CNY .... wat u wan me to do for that damn 3 days? stone till dead izit now?
- every single place will be playing that stupid CNY ting tong tang tong song .... no other better songs izit ?
- tho CNY is like a family gathering to everyone ... but not for me especially this year .... so fuck that man ...
- damn fucking irritating coz u r forced to put a fake smile and wish every single tom uncle and lulu aunty .. i don like u means i don like u la ! .... the worst part is getting 2 bucks in the end .... bloody cheapo ... rather save the effort to smile or wasting my salivar than getting that 2 bucks ....
- stupid irritating kids will start turning ur house upside down ... end up who will clean the mess? ... don make me slap u people ....

Cant blame me coz i never like CNY ..... mayb to u guys its different ... but to me ... its just another stoning day ..... the best CNY i ever had? NONE ..... i don like it especially every single people there started picking on u for no fucking reason .... or giving u the impression that u r fat or wat so ever ....

Imagine me going back to Setapak tis year ..... wit ma tattoos and new piercings ... and one smart ass uncle told every single tom dick and harry n all the sara lulu and mary in the world that i started smoking ... WTF?.... still remember last year everyone started tiuing me for no fucking reason coz i pierced ma tongue .... eh .... wat the fuck is wrong wit u man .... u don like it so wat? do i look like i care? fuck no! ... its ma body and i wana do watever i like ok! .... don give me those fucked up reason that ma luck will b gone and bla bla bla ... coz i never see myself wit any good luck b4 as well ... even b4 putting the stud into ma tongue ....

Hate being treated like a maid all the time .... stupid lazy ass people cant get up from that stupid chair started ordering me to take food or drinks for them ... eh ... wat nonsense is tis man? tho ur ma uncle or aunt ... so? tat doesnt mean that u can take any advantage from anyone ..... if u admit urself that ur a lazy fucking asshole then i will do that favour for u then .... coz i don mind serving lazy bumms and might as well splash it into ur face as well .... coz u need to wake up ! ...

Furthermore ... wit ma mood like that for the past few months till today .... and i don take shyts from people nowdays .... cant blame me if i tiu u back if u start getting into ma nerves ... coz i aint gonna care ....

The best thing about CNY tis year? I DON HAV TO GO BACK TO SETAPAK ! WOHOOO!!!!! ... NOW TATS CALL A REAL GOOD LUCK TO ME ....

10:14 PM

Great Retail Therapy ...

Went over to Borneo Ink today wit Steph and Prema to giv ma lovely Lina a visit after a long time .... lol ... as usual .. she is getting hotter and hotter ... haha

Got ma 4th tattoo coloured .... managed to get it coloured like 1/3 of it coz i didnt make an appointment and she wants to get ma tattoo done ... lol i love her man!

Chatted wit her a lot of things .... she did made ma day somehow .... thanks Lina! Love u !

Went makan at some jap restaurant then ... tat waitress is a real bitch .. eishhhh

In conclusion ... im happy today! ... thanks to u both n Lina .... love u all! *MUAKS*

Conclusion for today .....

Many people commented tat ma 4th tattoo is damn huge ... well ... i've always wanted a huge piece on ma skin .... i know that people have been telling me that what will happen to the tattoo after 10 or 20 years ... sag? ugly? fucked up? ... well .... the main reason i opt that design coz it do reminds me of ma family and i on a break .... a good holiday at Sarawak last year .... tho i always wanted a koi fish tattoo on ma thigh... but decided to forgo tat one and go for tis one instead .... it symbolized a bond between ma family and i after soo many shyts happens .....that's all that matters rite? ... u guys can say that im crazy or wat so ever ... coz im really really down these few days ... and after getting it coloured ... im really happy somehow .... i never laugh or even smile these few days till today .... some people wont understand i bet .... but i believes that those who really really knows me or even understands me ...and knowing what im goin thru now .... its a real good therapy for me ....

12:47 AM

Friday, February 16, 2007

Happy Valentines Day People! ...

Damn lazy these days and due to ma short term memory lost .... so just let the pictures do the talking this time .... lol

11:30 PM